My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
