I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
