He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
