marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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