He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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