This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
