I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
