My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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