I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
