Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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