I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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