got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
