Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
