Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
