just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
