I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
