rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
