dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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