Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
