Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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