so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This is classic penis vs brain.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
