BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
