I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
