weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
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