nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wish i was in the wii world.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
