thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
