the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
