I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
