ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Buhtt sex?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
