K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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