I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
