Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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