So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
