did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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