i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
