Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You ruined the universe
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
