Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
