hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
