i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
