You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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