Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
