Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
