How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
