just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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