Small penises have feelings too.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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