The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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