sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
