Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
