if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
