i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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