my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
