these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i out mim tonsoeep
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