GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
