Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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